There's always something about losing a loved one. Grief comes in all shapes and sizes. We all go through "grief" in our own and different way. New blog viewers, in case you don't know yet I lost my father (approaching) 7 years ago. I'm almost 17 now, I was 10 when it had happened. Someone was talking to one of my family members the other day about how "it's been 7 years, it should be something they've gotten over." Yes, someone really said that. But it got me to thinking, it has been 7 years and it has been tough. But I was 10 years old right? I didn't really "know what losing someone to death really feels like" or "shouldn't be going through any hardships because of how young" I was, right? Wrong. All wrong. See, everyone will experience separation at some point in their lives. Death, breakups, divorce, etc. you name it but every person will experience separation and everyone will experience separation from someone they love and it is nothing you can run away from.
I'm writing this blog for both those who are going through similar experiences and for the people who just want to listen to a kid speak his mind on how it feels to lose someone. To start out, comparing {my} experience with {yours} or somebody else's is completely and entirely different. So please, don't do it. We all go through separation in different ways, if you want to try to feel empathetic towards {me} then bringing up how your great aunt passed away from natural causes will not do the job. Simply letting us talk about how we feel is the most you could possibly do. See a lot of us feel as if no matter how much we let out how we feel with others, there's no way we can grasp onto and put into words of how we really feel. That's why when I get asked questions about how I've felt about it I'll usually pause and sound like I'm a kindergartener first learning the alphabet. It is something of such a magnitude of feelings we can't even grasp onto what it all feels like. It's like taking a bucket and filling it with the ocean's water. It does nothing but give you a fraction of something so big, but is enough to provide you with what you want.
So for the people going through something of this nature, this paragraph is for you! Yes, it hurts. Yes, it feels like the end of the world. But it's not. As much grief as we experience, it is most definitely not the end of your course of life, it is just a MAJOR obstacle you have to maneuver around. I'm a 17 year old boy, which you by now probably think it's getting easier as the older I get especially from losing my dad at 10 years old. Truth is, it is easier. It's a gradual process. However there is never, and I mean never, a time where I'm not reminded of him. Little things or big things I will always have flashbacks of him. My dad was my best friend, of course I'll miss him. I'll miss him until the day I'm called to be completed my course of life. As years go on it'll get better, but you will have your moments I can promise you that. Sometimes they're easy going with just looking through some old stuff with an easy mind, or other times absolutely sobbing in your deep thoughts about the absence of them. It is not easy but it's not anything to hold you back from living your life from. How I always put it is that it happened for a reason. Sure, you'll hear that from just about anybody. But if you deeply think about it, you'll understand that the situation wasn't in your hands and there's nothing you can do about it up to this point. As hard and sad as it sounds and is, that's what was meant to happen. The solution to this: live your life. 3 simple words that again you must think hard about in order to really get. If you live your life there's nothing better you could do. But something better to think about, live your life, not for them, but for you in a way where they would be significantly proud of you.
Yes, grief is going to try its very best to stop you in your tracks, but it's not worth falling for. Missing them is 100% OK. There's nothing wrong with it at all, whatsoever. But if you let it get to the point where you cannot be you, that's when you may need to come to consideration that death and grief has gotten you right where it wants you. Death is hard to overcome but there is no reason for losing yourself if you lose a loved one. It's the course of life you guys. As shaky and "bad" life may seem at times, we only have 1 single shot at it on planet earth. So make it worth it. Live your life. Make the ones who have passed proud when it's your turn to finish your course of life.
There's always something about losing a loved one. Something you frankly cannot get over. No one will ever get how you feel even if they've been through something similar. But as to having different relationships and bonds with a certain person, how losing them is dealt with is based upon what your relationship was like for them. For my dad, he heavily impacted hundreds, if not, thousands of lives around him. He touched many lives and formed the best kind of relationships with so many people that it absolutely devastated almost the whole city and then some when he passed. For me, it was probably the closest relationship I will ever have in my entire life besides my mom, siblings, and my future family's. It was not easy at all I can tell you that. Like I said before, I lost my best friend. Everything that happened the time my eyes opened March 2, 2000 to the time his eyes closed April 3, 2010 will always be blessings to me and I will cherish them for the rest of my life. I hope others can see that the way situations are dealt with are extremely different than all others, times will be tough but the storms lighten up. Trust me on it. Separation (especially from death) is a hard situation to go through. It's a feeling you cannot express. There's just always something about losing a loved one.
